


Chaos Ensues

by BairnSidhe, ValkyriePhoenix



Series: Things That Should Not Have Worked: a Brief History of S.H.I.E.L.D. [6]
Category: Bairnsidhe Bodies, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Stick It (2006)
Genre: Blame Bairnsidhe, Clint gets his own medicine, Food, Gen, Not Harrow Twins, Side characters take over and run the show, crackfic, shennanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 20:01:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12778440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BairnSidhe/pseuds/BairnSidhe, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValkyriePhoenix/pseuds/ValkyriePhoenix
Summary: Twin Duty squad from Adventures With Carter meet Strike Team Theta. Chaos Ensues.





	Chaos Ensues

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Out of Body Experience](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8327248) by [BairnSidhe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BairnSidhe/pseuds/BairnSidhe), [ValkyriePhoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValkyriePhoenix/pseuds/ValkyriePhoenix). 



Chapter 1:  
  


The months since the alliance between the Irkutsk Bratva and Kaven's vitsa of Rrom were... well, less chaotic than the two days that forged the alliance, but with the lack of the twins, that was to be expected. The twins had both been formally adopted by both the ganjo and the Rom families, with Peggy and Sharon (and the as yet unmet mother of the boys, Ciara) as honorary Phuri Dae and Bratva Aunts. Warren, it turned out, already, in fact, belonged to the vitsa, and not just by adoption, and Mishka was accepted as Kaven's new blood-brother. Business was booming for both groups, and the hassle generally given to the Rom fell dramatically in places the Russians held sway – not gone, but delightfully LESS.

 

Life was good. But still, Kaven was bored. Mishka was, too, he could tell. Warren had gone back to his job, the twins were home, half the world away, and the depressing lack of chaos showed it.

 

Worse, Durriken had taken to pushing for Kaven and Mishka to get married. Twenty-two was much older than the traditionalists liked people to wait. Especially when they were Trouble Walking as the two were.

 

The November evening in Odessa was beautiful, and Kaven was too mopey to appreciate it.

 

And he knew it.

 

Which was why, when Mishka showed up, carrying a suit, and wearing his own, to tell Kaven they were going to a party on behalf of the Russian Bratva, Kaven almost said no. Almost.

 

\---

 

Haley Graham smiled fondly at her sister-agents. Joanne was gleefully encouraging several of the scum-in-suits to compete against each other for her attentions. Mina was at the party's buffet table, daintily devouring desserts, seemingly oblivious to her own bevvy of suitors. And WeiWei.... Haley almost giggled as Phil sighed on the com in her ear – WeiWei was an incongruous vision, haphazardly sprawled across an over-stuffed chair in her formal gown, with both face and the napkin on her lap completely stuffed full of Ukranian pierogies (Haley hadn't once managed to pronounce the local name for them correctly yet. WeiWei probably could, if her mouth wasn't too full of them.)

 

Ostensibly, the four were in Odessa as World Class Gymnasts of Name, here for the fashion and the parties. Really, they were here more for who was throwing the parties than for the parties themselves. This particular party, for example, was a front for someone to make connections with other arms dealers.....and arms buyers. A third of the people here were just here to see and be seen, like the competitive climbers the girls were pretending to still be. Of the rest, half were selling something, and half were buying, and at least a quarter were doing both.

 

The bland, oily man currently drooling over Haley mistook her smile as meant for him, and she let him. If she kept him drooling, he might say something useful without paying attention to it. If Haley kept the smile in place by imagining him having a heart attack and dying on the spot....well, there was no need for anyone to know. Though Clint clearly did, as he watched over them from his rooftop perch next door, like the demented angel he was, as the coms gave off the staticky sound of someone trying not to snicker out loud.

 

Haley smiled wider. At least, with WeiWei devouring everything in sight to Phil's exasperation and Clint in her ear, tonight wouldn't be entirely boring....

 

\---

 

WeiWei's phone rang with Clint's tone, and she hurriedly swallowed her mouthfull to answer. “Sup, Coach?” she grinned, picking up another padehah from the pile in her lap, and gleefully biting into it.

 

“WeiWei, what have we said about eating on missions?”

 

“Don't trust Natasha and May?”

 

“What's the _other_ thing we said?”

 

“.....Don't do it where the marks can see you,” she sighed. “But I'm _hungry._ ”

 

“If you wait, I'll make gingerbread....”

 

“Food? What food? I see no food.”

 

“Good Agent. Now, go save the dessert bar from the depredations of the Finch.”

 

“Uh Yeah... _okay..._ How?”

 

“Promise Brownie Grenades.”

 

“Will you be making them? Because if I promise, and they aren't made....”

 

“You know better than to ask that.”

 

“I still need to hear you say it, I'm the one doing the promising.”

 

The sigh that came over the line sounded more like a heavy gust of wind hitting a mic. “Yes, I will be making gingerbread and brownie grenades. No need to fear Mina's Sadface. Death By Brownies for Joanne and Haley if they're good, too. Now....”

 

“Going!”

 

If WeiWei stuffed the entire bunch of padehah in her purse.... Well, at least she wasn't eating in front of the marks anymore. Clint agreed with Haley: Phil's exasperated sighs were hilarious.

 

***

 

“Hey, Byz?”

 

Phil sighed, “Yes, Hawkeye?”

 

“Did you ever read the personal files attached to the Irkutsk Incident reports?”

 

“Yes. Why?”

 

“Because I'm pretty sure the youngest Doverskaya boy and the Roma who had Twin Duty are joining the party.”

 

“Who do we send for intercept?”

 

“Recluse. Kestrel is extracting Finch from the dessert bar, and I don't want to interrupt Mantis while she has so much prey dangling.”

 

“Call her phone, get to the coat room.”

 

Haley answered her phone on the first ring, this drooling bucket of rancid grease was a dead end anyways.

 

“Hey, Coach!”

 

“Don't kill the man, Recluse. I've got another job for you.”

 

“Aaaw, fine. What do you need?”

 

“Two men are about to enter together, we need you to intercept them. Ask if they've seen a chartreuse and Red Hat, which belongs to your aunt. Get them to help you check the coat room. They will, they know the Hat I mean.”

 

“Those colors are hideous in combination, bossman, you sure you want it back? I'm sure the 70's will be happy to reclaim it.” Making Clint sigh was even more fun than making Phil sigh.

 

“Yes, brat, it is hideous. It's also my favorite. I willingly do paperwork for that hat. So don't diss it.”

 

“Sure thing, bossman, I'll find it for you.”

 

“Good girl.”

 

***

 

Kaven couldn't decide if his night was getting better when the lithe beauty in green made her way towards them as they entered the party, or if it was about to get infinitely worse. What she said when she opened her mouth didn't help matters.

 

“Have you seen a Chartreuse and Red Hat? It's my aunt's,” could only mean Aunt Peggy and the Twins, which generally meant things were about to get complicated, and probably involve secret agents everywhere.

 

Considering the man waiting for them in the coat room, who surely would be very intimidating, if they hadn't met Peggy and Sharon, Secret agents were a definite part of the foreseeable future.

 

 


End file.
